You Love her until She kills You

She is beauty

an ethereal being

flawless, infallible, perfect


You marvel at her prominent ribs

her opulent white skin

her shadowed eyes

her hollowed legs

the flat smoothness of her belly


You dream of her

Her infinite beauty


You long for her when hunger gnaws at your stomach

raw and painful

resonating deep within your being

a pounding throbbing void


You weep and beg for her approval

her sweet soothing voice

her eloquent words that support your bravery

You yearn for her, now more than ever


But nothing will suffice her demands

she teaches that hunger is succulent

and starvation is an art form

and you are her masterpiece


The world is too cruel, too cold

Ice scorches your veins pulsing wild sapphire

arctic white surges through your body

cold and unmerciful

You scream for help, but fatigue has made you voiceless

The ice surrounds you, your mind, your heart

and soon you freeze


For a second you watch

as she sheds your body like an old skin

steps out of you in all her glamour,

and leaves you

grotesque, distorted and mangled

a splintered fragment of yourself



14 thoughts on “You Love her until She kills You

  1. great article this is an interview i did i hope it brings awareness and hope i love your blog

    This is an interview I did with Bryan Bixler. Behind the Mask: Eating Disorders Unveiled. He currently works with individuals and families suffering from eating disorders. He facilitates interventions, attends speaking engagements at treatment centers and universities, and has been invited for multiple appearances on the Dr Oz Show. He is passionate in the cause for education and public outreach for families and victims of eating disorders. Bryan will add to the discussion with Priscilla by sharing his twenty-year battle with chronic anorexia, including multiple treatment denials, which led to his psychological, physical and emotional deterioration. Now in recovery, he will share his insights on topics related to eating disorders.

  2. I didn’t realize that poem was about an eating disorder?? Although, I thought it was a nice twist on a “woman” in “sheep’s” clothing. We have the capability of being that powerful. But, god danmit just when I have it in my grasp, I let it go, something else more significant pops up…and I lose it. Oh well, they should be so lucky 🙂

  3. Dark and beautiful. I think too few people know what it’s like to live in skin that doesn’t belong to you, and then step out of it only to see whas left. I admire your spirit, will, an the beauty of your words. The powers of the mind an body are mysterious yet so powerful. I do enjoy your posts. Continue to see your own beauty and don’t ever stop. 🙂

  4. This is a lovely, horrific, poignant poem. I congratulate you on your clarity, applaud your courage and admire your talent for self expression. There is no need for you to ever doubt your beauty. Hugs.

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