Where Broken Souls Go

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The moon emerges from the mountains a monstrous, swollen apparition; gleaming and pulsing like an ember.

The souls surface from darkness behind the mountains, their bodies the deepest midnight blue, yet translucent, and full of stars. They transcend downhill toward the ominous outline of forest beyond my house. They seem weightless like they are walking on air.

One caught me watching once; lifted its strange face dappled with muted moonlight, and stared at me with its wide vacuous indigo eyes. A shiver had run down my spine and for a moment my heart was frozen. Solid. Ice. Piercing in my chest. I was drowning in their indigo emptiness. The entirety of it. But the moment dissolved quickly, along with the figure, becoming only another shimmering shadow swallowed by the mangled trees.

Others enter the forest; soft-featured girls with long blond hair and men with large rifles and dogs with gleaming teeth. They enter the forest when sun is high in the sky, casting golden rays to glitter like sprinkled fairy dust on the leaves, dispersing the darkness, pushing it aside to wait its turn. They are under the illusion that is safer then. They aren’t aware of how fast darkness can surround you.

I never see their faces again. The forest swallows them.

Sometimes I see other faces, peering out from the silver birches, from between the brambles, and blackberry thickets; wisps of women, green with flowing leafy hair and fingers stained in crimson blood. Faces thick with pelts of dark fur and wide, aquamarine eyes. So quick to disappear again that most of the time I am not sure of whether I imagined them or not. I wonder when I will enter the forest. If I will ever come back.

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5 thoughts on “Where Broken Souls Go

  1. You speak the language of the journeying of our souls so stunningly beautifully, Lily!

    Do not be afraid of the forest of no turning back, my dear friend. There is plenty of healing even in some of the darkest and coldest of places.

    Years ago I found myself completely alone for hours on a desolate Greek mountain with my bicycle having a flat tire, and my blood froze as I first heard and then saw this big, wolf-like dog running towards me after sunset. It quickly turned out that he was just a lonely soul needing company, too; he played with me like crazy and cuddled with me and then we shared my last sandwich and he escorted me downhill in the dark, until two men with an off-road truck gave me a ride back to safety.

    Please watch and listen, Lily; let your uncertain soul soak the strong spiritual mood of the video below, and have the sweetest of dreams.

    Always sending you strength and confidence, my golden friend,

    Leon

    (I know I was speaking Old Irish once, but now I need the English Translation below, too.)

    “Sigma”
    Secret Garden and the Irish National Chamber Choir, featuring boy soprano Rhonan Sugrue.

    Bim ar thoir an comhartha
    Scaoileas m’anam saor
    Caithfidh mo chroi a
    bheith glan
    Roimh siochan theacht crum

    Ni leanfaidh Brón
    Is Béim sásta le mo ghrá
    Guím comhartha
    chabhreoidh liom
    Mé a chomhlíonadh

    Bim ar thoir an comhartha
    Scaoileas m’anam saor
    Caithfidh mo chroi a
    bheith glan
    Roimh siochan theacht crum

    Sí an ghaoth do ghuth
    Sí an bháisteach do dheora
    Grian, do chroí ar las
    Do spiorad mo shlánú

    [English Translation:]

    I search for the sign
    That will set my soul free
    My heart must be pure
    So that I can find peace

    My grief cannot last forever
    My love will be fulfilled
    I pray a sign will help me
    Be all that I can be

    I search for the sign
    That will set my soul free
    My soul must be pure
    So that I can find peace

    The wind is your voice
    The rain is your tears
    You burning heart
    And spirit is my salvation

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