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Tonight.

In the darkness.

In the cold.

I waited for you.

Waited.

Shivering underneath a starless sky.

A moonless night.

My breath silver in the cold.

I waited for you:

Waited.

For someone I knew would never come.

 

Two years of You

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After two years of you
After two years of blue eyes
and crooked smiles
and hugs
filled with so much warmth
they made all my sadness melt
away
no matter how cold it was
After two years of you
I wake up alone
a gaping emptiness
and memories that burn.
Inside my chest

my heart is screaming

into blackness

Screen Shot 2017-01-19 at 5.28.12 PM.pngMy skin breaths.

The universe whispers.

The darkness is electric with stars.

Endless energy pulses through my veins.

I am alive.

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a black starless sky

a bottomless lake

and a woman with no soul

dancing in the darkness

skin sparkling white

with stolen starlight

 

 

 

 

 

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I walk alone

in this grey world,

under this grey sky.

 

wanting to remember

wanting to forget

wanting to live

wanting die

 

I don’t know where I am going.

Everything is grey.

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the shadows breathe

and the darkness grows

soon I will forget who I am

on this endless road to nowhere

 

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I am living in a fairytale:

where you are mine and I am yours

where we walk in fields of flowers

beneath skies of brilliant color

and swim in oceans that glitter gold

 

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but somewhere I know the stars are falling

somewhere the quiet song of ending echoes

somewhere I am already alone again

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The curtains closed.

The door locked.

We hid

for hours

like we were secrets

in all but each other’s minds.

After a while we never cared to know:

if the sky was grey

or blue

if it was cold

if the leaves were falling or growing back again.

After a while we forgot about the world

and the world forgot about us.

Replacement

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My world is blue once more

blue like the ocean

Blue like my eyes

Blue like her eyes

 

When I close my eyes

I am drowning

in endless empty blue.

 

I no longer remember

how I look like.

I stare into mirrors

trying to recall

where my face starts

and hers ends:

the girl you used to love

the girl you you still loved when I already loved you

the girl who I became.

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